Anonymous asked: Regarding the 16-year-old girl who most recently sent you an ask ( http://fashionablesex.tumblr.com/post/5855065568 ):
I don't know if I'd say that most guys know that fingering isn't as arousing to a woman. The general impression I think many guys have is that the vagina is just an inverted penis, and that fingering is just like jerking off in reverse (that's what I thought when I was younger).
Most movies and television shows which show sex seem to perpetuate the notion that all women can orgasm from regular vanilla, penis-in-vagina sex. The sad fact is many women aren't able to orgasm from that act alone (although there is a small, lucky percentage who can), and coupled with the visual experience of movies and television that many people have, the interior of the vagina is where many young men will be putting their attention. Granted, this is coming from someone who grew up well after the introduction of wide and freely-available internet porn, but I tend to think that most young guys won't be as concerned about their partners' orgasms before their own.
My point here is that if she wants her boyfriend to change the way he's trying to arouse her, then she needs to ask him to do so. It might be mildly embarrassing, and she might be nervous, but, speaking from experience, a woman who asks for what she wants during sex is a huge turn-on.